
We considered the possible implications of such diseases: the inability to conceive a baby, passing on a sexual disease to your spouse, and transmitting a disease to your baby in the womb or during delivery.īesides being more confident in their virginity, Kathy and Michelle have now set the personal goal of saving sex for marriage. They were shocked to find out that this friend contracted herpes from sexual intercourse while using a condom. I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms one of those persons was a close friend of mine. I also wanted to make these girls aware of the physical dangers of pre-marital sex. I asked Kathy and Michelle if they thought the relationship was worth continuing, and they both said, "No, he does not love you if he won't wait for you." I was proud of their answer. Their awareness was evident in their response to my disclosing that I recently told my boyfriend that I wanted to abstain from sex from now on and he said he could not do this. These two young girls developed a new awareness of how truly loving relationships and commitments develop and are sustained.

We talked about the self-respect and courage involved in leading sexually abstinent lives until marriage. I then told them about my having pre-marital sex, and how I wished these relationships had never occurred and that the only true way to find out if a guy loves you is to make him wait until marriage. We also talked about girls' feelings when they are rejected after giving part of themselves to another person. We first tackled the issue of sex as "showing love" or "keeping a boyfriend." I used the girl they were talking about as an example of how boyfriends come and go whether girls have intercourse with them or not. They also assumed that condoms would protect them from disease and pregnancy and that having sex had no implications for their future adult lives. Kathy said, "She's trying to keep a boyfriend." They assumed that having sex was a way of holding onto a boyfriend and showing love for one another.

I asked them why they considered her a slut, and Michelle responded: "She has slept with at least eight guys already, and she is easy." I asked them to think about why this girl is so promiscuous. I started these discussions when I accidentally overheard my sister Kathy, and her friend, Michelle, talking about a "slut" that one of their friends was dating. Also, she is a virgin (her friend is, too), so I wanted to show her how important it is to hold onto that purity. I felt that it was my responsibility to pass the philosophy of abstinence on to my sister because I know that she will not get it in the "going to do it anyway" program that is used at her high school. Sure, I have always known what the word meant, but I had never considered it an option for me, until recently. I wanted to inform my 14-year-old sister Kathy about something that I unfortunately just began to take seriously: abstinence.

Unfortunately, you can’t take back what happened but you can learn from it.I recently completed a graduate course in character education in which we were required to carry out an "action project." For my project I chose to use character-based sex education to try to instill in my younger sister and her friend the self-respect, self-control, and courage needed to lead moral, fulfilling, and healthy lives. But don’t let him put all the blame on you – he needs to accept his role in what happened. If someone tries it on in the future, stick together and say no. Like I’ve said many times on this page, the fantasy is often way better than the reality. If you decide you want to get back together, then you have to agree never to let something like that happen again. I think it’s fine to give each other a bit of space to think things over, but try to arrange a date when you can meet to talk about it. I think you love each other and want to be together, but there are a lot of raw emotions flying around at the moment, not to mention flashbacks to the night in question.

The fact is, once it was on the cards you probably both did it only because you thought the other was into it and didn’t want to be the killjoy. He is just as responsible for this situation as you are – if not more because he was the one who wanted to give it a try.
